Help! and Where to Find It

Well, it’s certainly been an interesting week. Several life altering things have occurred, including, but not limited to, crying like a crazy person alone on the streets of New York while screaming the F word at a cab driver who honked one too many times. Don’t worry, we talked it out. He’s cool.

Being relatively unversed in this form of emotional instability I have had to turn to many a higher power:

1. God: There’s been plenty of prayer, and if I were Him I’d tune me out after the first five minutes. I can go on one hell (sorry) of a prayer tangent.

2. Mom - for months now my mother has been nothing more than an etherial voice on the other end of my phone. Because they still have dial up (they’ve been shunned, don’t worry), we’re incapable of video chat. She’s a faceless being who I pour my heart and soul out to. Like a priest, only she drinks and makes gay jokes.

3. Horoscopes.

Now, please don’t tell number One about number three cause I’m pretty sure according to His rule book I’m not supposed to be dealing in astrological nonsense. Not that He couldn’t figure out what I’m doing on His own, but it’s kinda like when an only child colors on the walls with the crayons and then swears they have no idea where that artwork came from. Feigned naiveté simply makes me cuter.

But honestly, in times of trouble, Mother Mary may come to some, cheap online horoscopes come to others. So I decided to browse a few today and share some psychic wisdom.

Astrology.com - You need to step up your communication today
RE: New Blog Entry

Dailyhoroscopes.com - There is an urge to probe and examine many of your goals these days and you may find yourself working through some strong internal changes.
Oh dailyhoroscopes, how horribly prophetic and yet shockingly generic. This is how cults are formed, because people think they find answers in everything if their spirits are low enough. They’ll believe that anyone or any source has so poetically described their own situation.
But this horoscope is spot on for me.

horoscopes.mydaily.com - Your key planet Mercury is finally regaining speed as it continues to recover from its retrograde phase last month.
You don’t know how many nights of sleep I lost when I heard that Mercury was going through a retrograde phase. Some planets never recover from these phases. They just keep slipping deeper and deeper into retrograde. It’s so hard to watch.

horoscopes.proastro.com - Emotions are strong and upbeat, foundations laid today will be firm and supportive and continue to evolve that way. Feelings of friendship abound and it's easy to see the good side of anyone -- just remember there may be other sides, too
....A for effort, proastro.

Now, like any good middle school English teacher will tell you, I need to find some way to effectively conclude this journal entry. But how utterly poetic and symbolic if I cannot find the perfect way to wrap it up? What if there is no clear path for me to take to bring finality to this situation?








In conclusion, things can suck, but there’s help out there. Choose your deity/ online psychic/ parental figure/ group of wasted friends, and drain from that source its abundant font of celestial signs/ generic wisdom/ comforting counsel/ salsa and chips. Because in the end, nothing sucks forever. Everything in our lives is in a constant rotation of suck, a ferris wheel of awful. One day, something else is gonna suck just as hard and this hurt will be a distant memory, waiting for its ride on the crap mobile.

Lost Biscuit and other stories of Woe

First of all, I should state that I LOVE my Monday nights at the ninth avenue salon.
It's my walks home from my Monday nights that I often dread.

Tonight was different, tonight had potential. Magic potential.

After some persuasion from my friends "Rum and Coke" and "tequila shot" I finally gave in and stopped at the local Fried Food store for what they call the "Snack Pack"; Two pieces of fried chicken, "mashed potatoes", and...wait for it...a biscuit. Now any fellow fried chicken lover knows that, no matter the caliber of chicken, the meal is not complete without the biscuit. I pass the man my four dollars and gladly take my "thank you" bag of deep fried treasures. I nearly skipped home with my loot.

You've been introduced to the biscuit. Now, enters the antagonist.

He comes in the form of a hunched, probably diseased homeless man on my street. Oh I know what you're thinking: how dare I use such a helpless figure as my nemesis in tonight's retelling. Just you wait, doubtful reader.

I had passed by this man three times that day. Each time I delivered different reactions to his supplicatory calls. (one: ignore, two: smile and nod, three: pat pockets, swearing it's in there somewhere all while continuing to walk). So at this point in my journey home I'm faced with a dilemma. I am on my way home with a non recyclable bag filled with a glorified heart attack and I can either reignore this poor soul, or part with a member of my feast.

After long, hard consideration, foolishly I decide to offer him my biscuit. MY BISCUIT. The piece that not only ties together the late night meal, but I'd dare say completes it. It wouldn't be worth the artery clogging goodness without it, but I knew my duty and my task was clear.

I proffered my biscuit. I'm not saying I expected trumpets, medals. I maybe envisioned a parade, but the fantasy was fleeting. No I could have even made due with a nod. A nod that indicated some form of gratitude. Instead:

"Yeah, do you have fifty cents?" I was struck dumb. I stared at my golden brown biscuit in his haggard hands, a biscuit I would have treasured. A biscuit he easily brushed aside...My sacrifice of that carb filled puck, for any chicken enthusiast, indicated my dedication to this charity. And all I got for thanks was inquiries of more. If I had given him that fifty cents, would he have asked for my blood? Probably, ladies and gentlemen. Probably.

I walked away, defeated and beside myself. I had lost my biscuit.

The heartburn is worse when the meal is incomplete.

I'm not sure if there is such a thing as blog karma. If there is, I'm sure this one is coming back to bite me in the ass. But chomp away, BK. I'm a man without a biscuit. All you'll get is a mouthful of crushed dreams.

Seldom yours,

Paul

Pretty Little Picture

Well, everybody seems to find the picture thing to be such a hit on other peoples' blogs. It's all "I love the picture of" this, and "your blog is better than Paul's because" that. SO I've decided to add a few make shift pictures of my life here in Toronto. My camera doesn't connect to my computer, my blackberry doesn't get service up here (for cheap), and I don't want to recycle facebook images. So how will I fill you in on the goings on of my exciting life? Via paintbrush folks. Here are a few images of my life in toronto

Last week I went to Niagra Falls


Realistic mist and everything

I also danced with a midget at a karaoke bar



Today, walking home from work, I dropped a few coins in a homeless mans hat. Good deed? check


(actually happened)

I also had an awkward run in with my friend Sandy when I tried to steal her Oscar. She forgave me though


(may not have actually happened)

Sorry my hair is a little Gabourey Sidbie post Mo'Nique abuse. But anyway, I hope these images are a gateway for you into my, up to this point, secretive Canadian life.



take that Aaron, in your pretty gold outfit


love love love

Oh Canada

Paul Sabala is officially abroad. (Let the pun settle in). So now this crazy, "magical" adventure begins. Once again I've exhibited my unique talent for reading one thing and totally thinking another. So when my contract told me that I would be in Canada until April 8th, it seems only natural that I would assume that I'd only be here till March 8th. I've been telling EVERYONE that I'd be in Canada for two weeks, gearing up for a fortnight of cold before the relief of the Florida sun. Oh brain, what disappointments you have in store for me. I wish I could treat you to photos of the beautiful Toronto skyline, but as I've said I've nothing to connect the camera to the computer with. Just rest assured, it's dern pretty. And why shouldn't it be? It's the most expensive place I've ever been. The exchange rate for currency is pretty much exactly the same, the US dollar being only slightly heavier. So silly me, I'm thinking with thirty dollars I should be able to do a decent amount of shopping for one. I made it home with bread, lunchmeat, cereal, milk and water....THIRTY DOLLARS people. I'll have to mix and match. Maybe have some cereal sandwiches, or water/meat soup. It's desperate times when we get our most creative.

Tonight marks my return to the P90X regimen. I'm just going to assume that the whole week and a half I skipped won't really matter, so I'll just pick up where I left off. So that means, though it's almost ten pm, I've got an hour and a half of yoga to do. Gotta love it.

Dear Canada,

Get Hulu

Thank you

Paul

I'm So Good At This

This is my first blog in about three weeks. Should I apologize? And if so, to whom? I thought blogging would be way easier to update than my own journal, which often goes from an entry in January claiming that my resolution for this year is to write in it more often, to some random day in june where I hang my head in shame. In between it's littered with recipes and terrible song lyrics. At one point I try to convince myself that if Taylor Swift could do something, so could I. And let me tell you, it's a sad day when you have to admit defeat to Taylor Swift (Grammy's don't count). Anyway, I write to you after my week long excursion to Oklahoma, catching up with the familiar faces there and spending time with Ryan and the baby before the big trip. I head out on Saturday morning at...drum roll...seven am. Thank you, DCL. But, I'm incredibly excited to be taking a two week trip to Canada, with housing and transportation taken care of. All they ask is that I dance with a hunchback. Done and done, Disney. It's a little odd to think of a world without my cell phone, since I'm not willing to add international calling to the plan for a mere two weeks. Though this experience should prep me for 2012 when all communications are lost. That's right, I intend to be a survivor. Bring it, apocalypse. I'll try to update this thing every day, or every other day while in the big C, but we should all (meaning me and my two readers) prepare ourselves for the inevitable neglect. Also, I'm going to start back up on the P90X since I took a break in Oklahoma. It isn't as easy when you're trying to do downward dog while a real dog chews on your ear. Pictures on the blog may be an issue since my mac does not have a slot for my SD card and I've lost the cord to connect my prehistoric HP camera to the computer. But, rest assured pictures shall be taken and when I get back to the homeland...let's just say you better not have dial up. Who still has dial up, you ask? Lin and Rocco Sabala. Ergo, I write to you from the local Barnes and Noble. Everyone, stay safe, stay warm and keep me updated on your lives/ventures as I try to keep you updated on mine. Much love.

Tappin the blogs away

A disclaimer to my title: in actuality, I've been doing little to no (emphasis on the latter) tapping, and am not afflicted by the ever troublesome "blogs". But apart form a misleading header, life is fantastic here in Houston, Texas. I'm on week two of P90X, and I think I'm negating some of it's effects by visiting my mother's stash of left over halloween candy once a day, but my muscles are sure letting me know that it's doing something. Since my parents still subscribe to dial up internet (...I was just listening to see if any of you gasped), I do most of my online ventures from the coffee shop in Barnes and Noble. The sign says free wifi but it really means "free wifi with the purchase of one of our fine products". If you just whip open that laptop at any of their tables without first getting yourself a cup of coffee, you get a look, indescribable through emoticons. Trust me, I tried them all =(. Anyway, here I can explore at my leisure and with a billion different sites right at the tips of my fingers, containing the information of the world for me to absorb, I visit facebook, twitter, and blogspot...sometimes gmail...mostly facebook. And from here I try to update you on my life. Since I last left you I've seen Sherlock Holmes, The Book of Eli, and Avatar, all great in their own rights and genres. Also I went bowling, though I can't recall most of that outing. Now the rest of the week contains a lot of A Prayer for Owen Meany, P90, and any seasons of TV shows my parents may have laying around the house. A few pictures to leave you with. Carolyn sent me a BEAUTIFUL Christmas present of personalized pillow cases. When one thinks of my interests, one's thoughts can't help but stray to ducks and robots. She knows me so well.

After receiving such a thoughtful gift, Ryan and I decided we needed to model with the pillow cases on top of my new polka dot flannel sheets. That shoot went a little something like this.

So now when someone walks into my room they may be concerned that such a young toddler should be sleeping on a queen bed unassisted. Fear not, stranger in my room, tis merely my childhood interests that never died. God bless the young at heart...and bed.

Now for a more serious note. Last night a good friend of mine and her family suffered a terrible loss. Their house caught fire in the middle of the night and burned to the ground, taking with it all of their possessions. Her mother, father, and grandmother got out in time and were unharmed, but they've lost everything. This is a devastating time for them all, please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. I'll let you know what I can as the situation progresses and if there are any opportunities to help. Certainly this is a tragedy when it happens to anybody, but it's duly hard when it happens to such a loving and wonderful family as the Steadmans, who have taken many of us in under their roof and done so much for us in the past.

Here we are, as in olden days

I find myself back to my old haunts in Houston. Mainly the Barnes and Noble(s)/Starbucks with its free WiFi and cheap coffee. But it feels so wonderful to be back home with old friends like Hayley, and a car. You forget how wonderful the freedom to hop in an automobile that isn't being driven by a strange man who is pretending not to know where you want to go, and drive wherever you want to be is. So far since I've been home I've gotten some much needed reading done, spent a day on the town with Aaron Umsted and Hayley McElhinney, submerged myself deep in the trenches of P90X (I have to admit, I give up a little early on the yoga. One can only hold twisted chair stance for so long), and helped the madre out with some household chores. It's a much needed break from my previous lifestyle. And I found out today that my health is acceptable to the Disney company, so I'm officially completely hired and cleared for the boat. It's one month from today that I get shipped off to Canada. Now I try to distract myself with some new hobbies and bide my time in Houston until February 13th. Tomorrow night I head downtown to see Aaron in his traveling show and hopefully by the end of the week I'll have another best picture nominee under my belt. Love to all, talk to you soon.

Paul